Never, Never, Never Give Up!

              

Today I wish I were in Natchez, Mississippi celebrating with flags and flowers, for you see the last time I was there was January 2007 when we buried the physical remains of a young brother who taught his older sister, me, so much.  He was a US Marine and he was one of those special people who knew how to win and he knew how to lose.

Many people have asked me about the gold bar that sat on the counter in front of my desk, and now sits on my home desk, inscribed, “Never, Never, Never, Give Up.”  I would like to share the story with you. On December 15, 2006 I closed my salon and left for Birmingham, Alabama because I knew the end was near for David and he had been admitted to the Veterans Hospital in Birmingham.

My brother David was many things and lived a life that few people understood, including me.  During his last few years with us I had the privilege of spending a lot of my time with him and he taught me how to love people unconditionally.  He never talked about it but he did it day in and day out and I watched him.  When they were difficult or just down-right rude and mean to him, he never complained and he would say things like, “Well, we don’t know what’s going on in their life, so we shouldn’t pretend we do, and we never have the right to judge them.”  Those were the things my Mother and Daddy used to say to us, but hearing it from a man, who put it into action in the biggest way by volunteering to go to Viet Nam, well to me, it was bigger than the life we grew up in.  David was a US Marine, a bonofide cowboy, and country music guitar picker and singer.  He saw things that most of us haven’t even heard about and somehow he allowed those things to mold around the things he had been taught and in the end he was still strong.  I know, because I was sitting beside his bed in the Veterans hospital when he said, “Well it’s over sister,” and I replied, “I’m a little jealous that you’ll get to see Mama and Daddy before I do”.  That was the last real conversation we ever had but his life still speaks volumes to me every day.

The year before he died he decided to remodel his wife’s house and make sure she would be okay.  Together they did, and I spent many days visiting him under the carport watching him sanding doors, and building windows and cabinets.  He couldn’t breathe by that time but he never wore an oxygen pack on his person, because he was a US Marine and a “bonafide” cowboy.  Once I asked him, “David, Jean would understand if you don’t get this done, so why don’t you rest?”  He shook his head and he looked me in the eye and he said, “Never, Never, Never Give Up!”

There are always people in our lives that we have to smile and walk away from, never understanding them, but when we have something to do that is bigger than anything we could ever do all by ourselves, we learn to Never, Never, Never, Give Up.  We also learn to depend on one another to get it done.  We are facing people every day who are looking for reasons to hope and we can’t give them the jobs they need, but those who are hired to assist them can give them a smile and an understanding heart, and together we can make more and more out of what is in our hands.  We can sand a few more doors, build a few windows to let the sunshine in, and somehow build cabinets to hide the JUNK.  You know the JUNK, the harsh words, the impatient answers, and the judgmental attitudes.  These are the things I am working on myself, failing miserably from time to time, and I see some of you struggle to get through it without crying and giving up. Please do not become complacent or disinterested.  We must Never, Never, Never Give Up as long as there is hope then there is a way to make a difference.  You are sitting on that side of the desk and many wish they were, and it would not matter to them where the desk was.  Sometimes “following the book” means ignoring the needs of the person asking for assistance.  I know this because I tried to follow a rule book and all of the rules put in place end up like a crazy quilt instead of the right solution, and crazy quilts may keep you warm but there is never thought put into the placement because you just fit somebody where you think they will maybe fit.

Today I celebrate the Veterans, the men and women who saw something bigger than they could accomplish all by themselves, and they teamed up to ease the suffering, demand freedom for those who were being oppressed and abused, and they Never, Never, Never Gave Up.  Walking away is hard to do when you cannot see how you can win the battle, and sometimes  it is easy to confuse walking away with quitting, but if you cannot win, you can open the door for one of your team mates to step up and help you get it done.  This will require that they be the kind of teammate that is willing to step up and help when they are needed.  Thank you for remembering those who actually put their life on the battle line to prove that.  The key was usually, “Never, Never, Never Give Up!”

Thank you David, thank you.. to all of you who have returned to us, and thank you families for making the ultimate sacrifices by giving up your son, daughter, wife, husband, brother, sister, mother or father.

May God give all of us a COURAGEOUS HEART to give the very best and do the very best we can to make other’s lives better when the opportunity is presented to us or we see the need.

DAVID ARTHUR GRACE, Veteran of the UNITED STATES MARINE CORP

“SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL VETERANS ORGANIZATIONS AND OPEN YOUR HEARTS TO OUR VETERANS WHO ARE RETURNING HOME TO US…. AND SERVE FOR US.”