Love is Not a Natural Occurence

Good morning everyone.  Today is absolutely beautiful and the morning is so perfect one would want to absorb it.  Absorb is an old fashioned word that many choose not to use in the literary world of writing adverbs.  When I think of absorb, I remember once when I was in love I used to think it would be wonderful to absorb the man.  Good thing I didn’t.  It would have changed who I am. Hmmm….makes me wonder about a lot of things pertaining to love.  MY BELIEF:

“Love is not a natural occurrence”

I believe that we are emotionally attracted to others.  When I held my son for the first time or when they handed me my daughter.  Wow.  I loved them both so much.  Emotion city magnified.  Right?  Now think about this.  If I had given them away and walked away without ever looking back would that love have been as overwhelming as it was that first time I held them in my arms?  I do not think so.  I do believe the heart hungers for the love we lose or walk away from but the extreme emotions just are not there.  We choose to love and allow that love into our life.  Regardless of the situation or the person in our life, we have a choice.  We either love them or we do not.

My childhood was huge to me because I was taught to love.  My parents loved me so much they drove me crazy once I decided I wanted to have my own way about something.  My parents had no choice in their minds, but to prove their love yet again, by saying no. No, no, no, and I forgot all of the yeses!  We must remember to teach our children to love.  If we do not, then they will not have a pattern to fall in love and teach their children to love. 

If we were just programmed to love then Christ would not have been so adamant about his teachings.  I call it the New Testament, AD, Commandment.  “Love one another as I have loved you.”  This does not mean give everyone everything they think they should have.  This does not mean provide more than you can afford to, to prove your love.  “Love Hurts”.  That was a song title and if you recall it also states, “Love mars and scars.”  My Dad was known for his little quip, “You’ll get over it.” When I hear myself or one of my siblings make this remark I smile because it is true.  If the love you lost or chose not to invest yourself in hurts then remember that you will get over it.  We only carry with us the true loves that we gave our all to and have lost by one means or another because we gave all and knew it even just short of dying for them.

When a woman makes the statement, “You did not carry that child so you do not understand my decision”.  She has the right to say this to you.  Women invest all of themselves into the health and caring of their child and when the child is born that does not change.  This child becomes a visible person outside of the womb that requires the Mother to continually invest in every phase of his/her life.  I hear my children tell one another, concerning my grandchildren, “I choose the battles.  I cannot dictate a life to them.”  That would make parents controlling and give no live to the young ones for exploration and choosing the right things for themselves.  They must fail from time to time or they may never learn the importance of being successful.  When children are dictated every move then any failure becomes gigantic in their minds.  On the other hand, when a parent knows what is best and the child is not adhering to the best causing harm, danger to others or to themselves, then a parent has a battle to enter in and not give in.  New idea, Mama Up!  Daddy Up, sometimes Grandma or Grandpa Up, Teacher Up, just the same as a Cowboy Up!  This takes a lot of love investing.  For some there may be a lot of self-learning before the Step Up.  Facts change a situation in a moment so we all have to continually learn and trust to see it happen.  It takes a village to raise a child, hmmm… love and learning must begin with the tree the little apples fell from, and the village contributes.

We were taught to love everyone but we were not held accountable for loving them, when people were abusive or mistrustful.  I decided from all I had been taught, that I could easily have loved the abuser or mistrustful person if they had been the person they were created to be.  I could have watched over, nurtured and invested my emotions and affection on them.  People do get lost and we have large and caring hearts for them but we cannot allow ourselves to be abused or mistreated.  The person can overcome their choices of inflicting pain on others.  That beginning is itself their first choice.

So, Love is Not a Natural Occurrence.  I choose to save the most precious ability I poses for those whom I treasure and daily invest my time, attention, and affection in.  The ability to love! When we love wholeheartedly with everything we have, we must remember to love ourselves.  If we cannot do this we have to remember that love is not a natural occurrence and today we invest in us.  I know first-hand how hard this is because I forgot to love myself for many years.  Be happy every day and have fun!