Good morning.

Good post Easter celebration day.  God has once again, as he so faithfully does, reached down inside of me to stir my spirit.  He forgives me, encourages me and teaches me day by day.  If I wanted to find the church God has for me, personally, not just because my family is there, but for me, how would I reach out and do this.  Praying must have feet.  Finding comes from seeking.  Where next Lord?  If I had a friend that I knew and loved dearly who did not know the greatness of God’s salvation then what church would I trust to give this friend to?  Think about it.  A new Christian, like a new baby, should be loved, protected, and they should see the light.  When I have a plant that grows in a bent position how do I straighten the plant?  I turn the side with no growth to the sun.  Which church has the spirit to turn a new Christian to the Son?  Not religion, not rules, no “this is how we do things as Christians”, and definitely not judging or watching everything they do so they can be corrected, but which church will pray without ceasing, love without question, and live with the spirit of the Son so evident that people are drawn to them? Am I that kind of Christian?  That is the depth of God’s gift to me this Easter celebration.

Have A Happy, Rushless Day

Good afternoon family and friends.  Today I found myself in a restful opportunity and as usual, I picked up my laptop to write.  I was on the island today and the beach was swarming with busy people and I mean busy.  It seems to me that folks have to plan their down time and recreation moments and spontaneity has gone out of the window.  How refreshing to hear someone say, “I think I will go and do this or that today.”  Life is so busy and so intense that people are attracted to simple, everyday stories with simple, everyday language to remind them that they have the right to be happy and relax and enjoy the moments. 

Perhaps we will plan a time in each day to learn this.  Maybe that is what it will take to un-busy ourselves enough to laugh and play.  I do understand the pressure that companies, family and even friends can place on our lives. It seems that the days are completely filled with no room to even finish the day; however, ten minutes to practice happy thoughts or one hour to take a stroll, not an exercise jog, but a relaxing time with a friend, spouse, a child, or a parent can change your life.  You will be happier and kinder to yourself.  I like to think of down time as rushless.  Yep, that’s it.  Rushless!

I know, I should be working on writing Milton and Virginia’s story but should takes all of the fun out of it.  A very wise gentleman reminded me over and over that should is not the reason to do anything.  I want to write this and I will, but not at this “rushless” moment in time.  Thank you all for spending time on my blog.

Let's take a moment.......

May I re-introduce myself and share the  purpose of this book.

Ina Grace-Housley lives near her family in the beautiful paradise of Florida, USA.  She has devoted her writing career to helping other people enjoy their life, encourage other people to never give up on themselves, and many similar reasons.  She has two children with two adult children she claims for her own and seven grandchildren who consume the happiest spaces of her heart. 

Her first novel is a love story with great purpose and is dedicated to all of the people of this world who do not know who their biological parents are and all of the other people who feel that nagging loss without knowing why because they are not who others have wanted them to believe they are.  One moment in time and one decision made during that moment can create a lifetime of roads not taken and decisions never made with consequences that roll like a ball of twine across several decades before they are forever forgotten and washed away with time.

Ina was blessed to be reared with her natural parents and a host of siblings; however the path to this life was not easy and her heart has been greatly enlarged to reach out to those who will be touched by this beautiful work of fiction based on many stories of many lives.

To Weary Travelers and Couregeous Hearts

Good morning everyone.  God has awarded me a quiet and peaceful moment today and, as is usual, I turned to my thoughts.  He and He alone, knows, when we need our moments of reflection and our body needs quiet times as well.  Many of the thoughts that never leave us are weeds and they want desperately to invade these moments so I have spent a lifetime trying to “weed” that little garden. I would love for everyone in the world who needs an oasis today to have one and please use it to pour water over a crusty heart or broken soul.  We spend too much time racing to pour a drop of water into an ocean only to see it go out with the tide and behind, beside or even in front of us is a moment in time that may never come our way again.

I am full circle now with my children, well almost anyway.  They are not grandparents but they are struggling with adult children and empty nests and all that comes with that.  It is not an easy road but borrow those glimpses, you know the ones; the moments in time that will make you laugh and expand your heart again today.  My grandchildren are a delightful group of artists!  It shows up in “grande’ ways” I can assure you.  To watch an adult grandchild reach out to another person unselfishly and put that person first with a pure, loving heart is a testament to a wonderful parent.  To hear a grandchild play music to the One who bestowed the heart of desire to them, is a joy not describable.  Oh they truly all march to their own music and sometimes you, as parents, will not understand that. Leading is so much harder than telling.  Did you ever say to yourself, “how many times have I told him/her that?”  Well, please do not stress over that nonsense because praying for that child allows us to know that at the precise time, and with someone else, they will learn it!  I always, always, have asked God to give my children the right people in their lives and the exact right time and God never sleeps!  You know the old cliches’ including the one, “teach a child to fish and he will never be hungry.”  Trust me you have dedicated all of this time teaching so many things good mostly, but also the bad or hurtful.  That in itself is a learning curve even if you wish it did not exist. 

It isn’t always what you do, but how you do that turns the tide.  I know a water rush may be a challenge to controlling individuals looking for adventure but that high tide can drown a parent in torment if one allows it to.  I know you hear me quote the KJV on this verse but it is Fitting.  “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pitchers of silver.” Plant that painting in your mind’s eye and think about it.

“Speaking of painting.”  Think about this.  When your children were born God presented you with a white art board.  You and I were far too young and inexperienced to grasp that thought, at that time!  But think about it for a bit.  How many times you must have painted outside the lines, this is not a  paint by number you know, and how many times did you just pour paint off the board completely and turn around and wonder why the child never got that?  Now they are striking out on their own and you want to know how on earth they will ever do it!!!!!!!!!  Then you look inside and remember all of the dumb times and how many times you messed up with them.  Hey they got the big picture.  They may seem as if they are tuned out but their storage tank is probably running on overload right now while you are having a cram session!  Don’t worry they will be in touch over and over and over again!  Just not usually when you know your heart and mind need to hear from them. “Like right this minute so I can continue on with my day.”

Now God has generously given you a new white, art board.  Take the other one and frame it for later when they are parents and need a hug.  There is a big difference in the two boards anyway because you are no longer the 1^st chair!!!  You get to wait for them to paint on this board so you will see and know.  Controlling people with struggle with this one so take a moment and breathe.  Give them room to grow off your old board with lots of love and prayer.  They have the brush now, so open your grateful heart and breathe, knowing with complete certainty that God never sleeps, and He loves them more than you ever could and with good reason.  He knows where they are really going!  Oh, I remembered the two things I have prayed generously yet selfishly for my children all of the years they have been in my care.

1. Wisdom

2. A Couregeous Heart 

With wisdom from God they will flourish and with the courageous heart they will have the courage to act on the wisdom.  King  Solomon did not build his house.  God’s wisdom built that entire kingdom for him but God, who is wise enough to allow us to do all of these things on this earth while he oversees, gave Solomon the opportunity to act on the gifts that He, God, gave to him.  Now my weary travelers, that is opportunity"  To those bold, young courageous hearts, "march on in this same wisdom."

                                                                                                                                      

Never, Never, Never Give Up!

              

Today I wish I were in Natchez, Mississippi celebrating with flags and flowers, for you see the last time I was there was January 2007 when we buried the physical remains of a young brother who taught his older sister, me, so much.  He was a US Marine and he was one of those special people who knew how to win and he knew how to lose.

Many people have asked me about the gold bar that sat on the counter in front of my desk, and now sits on my home desk, inscribed, “Never, Never, Never, Give Up.”  I would like to share the story with you. On December 15, 2006 I closed my salon and left for Birmingham, Alabama because I knew the end was near for David and he had been admitted to the Veterans Hospital in Birmingham.

My brother David was many things and lived a life that few people understood, including me.  During his last few years with us I had the privilege of spending a lot of my time with him and he taught me how to love people unconditionally.  He never talked about it but he did it day in and day out and I watched him.  When they were difficult or just down-right rude and mean to him, he never complained and he would say things like, “Well, we don’t know what’s going on in their life, so we shouldn’t pretend we do, and we never have the right to judge them.”  Those were the things my Mother and Daddy used to say to us, but hearing it from a man, who put it into action in the biggest way by volunteering to go to Viet Nam, well to me, it was bigger than the life we grew up in.  David was a US Marine, a bonofide cowboy, and country music guitar picker and singer.  He saw things that most of us haven’t even heard about and somehow he allowed those things to mold around the things he had been taught and in the end he was still strong.  I know, because I was sitting beside his bed in the Veterans hospital when he said, “Well it’s over sister,” and I replied, “I’m a little jealous that you’ll get to see Mama and Daddy before I do”.  That was the last real conversation we ever had but his life still speaks volumes to me every day.

The year before he died he decided to remodel his wife’s house and make sure she would be okay.  Together they did, and I spent many days visiting him under the carport watching him sanding doors, and building windows and cabinets.  He couldn’t breathe by that time but he never wore an oxygen pack on his person, because he was a US Marine and a “bonafide” cowboy.  Once I asked him, “David, Jean would understand if you don’t get this done, so why don’t you rest?”  He shook his head and he looked me in the eye and he said, “Never, Never, Never Give Up!”

There are always people in our lives that we have to smile and walk away from, never understanding them, but when we have something to do that is bigger than anything we could ever do all by ourselves, we learn to Never, Never, Never, Give Up.  We also learn to depend on one another to get it done.  We are facing people every day who are looking for reasons to hope and we can’t give them the jobs they need, but those who are hired to assist them can give them a smile and an understanding heart, and together we can make more and more out of what is in our hands.  We can sand a few more doors, build a few windows to let the sunshine in, and somehow build cabinets to hide the JUNK.  You know the JUNK, the harsh words, the impatient answers, and the judgmental attitudes.  These are the things I am working on myself, failing miserably from time to time, and I see some of you struggle to get through it without crying and giving up. Please do not become complacent or disinterested.  We must Never, Never, Never Give Up as long as there is hope then there is a way to make a difference.  You are sitting on that side of the desk and many wish they were, and it would not matter to them where the desk was.  Sometimes “following the book” means ignoring the needs of the person asking for assistance.  I know this because I tried to follow a rule book and all of the rules put in place end up like a crazy quilt instead of the right solution, and crazy quilts may keep you warm but there is never thought put into the placement because you just fit somebody where you think they will maybe fit.

Today I celebrate the Veterans, the men and women who saw something bigger than they could accomplish all by themselves, and they teamed up to ease the suffering, demand freedom for those who were being oppressed and abused, and they Never, Never, Never Gave Up.  Walking away is hard to do when you cannot see how you can win the battle, and sometimes  it is easy to confuse walking away with quitting, but if you cannot win, you can open the door for one of your team mates to step up and help you get it done.  This will require that they be the kind of teammate that is willing to step up and help when they are needed.  Thank you for remembering those who actually put their life on the battle line to prove that.  The key was usually, “Never, Never, Never Give Up!”

Thank you David, thank you.. to all of you who have returned to us, and thank you families for making the ultimate sacrifices by giving up your son, daughter, wife, husband, brother, sister, mother or father.

May God give all of us a COURAGEOUS HEART to give the very best and do the very best we can to make other’s lives better when the opportunity is presented to us or we see the need.

DAVID ARTHUR GRACE, Veteran of the UNITED STATES MARINE CORP

“SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL VETERANS ORGANIZATIONS AND OPEN YOUR HEARTS TO OUR VETERANS WHO ARE RETURNING HOME TO US…. AND SERVE FOR US.”

Love is Not a Natural Occurence

Good morning everyone.  Today is absolutely beautiful and the morning is so perfect one would want to absorb it.  Absorb is an old fashioned word that many choose not to use in the literary world of writing adverbs.  When I think of absorb, I remember once when I was in love I used to think it would be wonderful to absorb the man.  Good thing I didn’t.  It would have changed who I am. Hmmm….makes me wonder about a lot of things pertaining to love.  MY BELIEF:

“Love is not a natural occurrence”

I believe that we are emotionally attracted to others.  When I held my son for the first time or when they handed me my daughter.  Wow.  I loved them both so much.  Emotion city magnified.  Right?  Now think about this.  If I had given them away and walked away without ever looking back would that love have been as overwhelming as it was that first time I held them in my arms?  I do not think so.  I do believe the heart hungers for the love we lose or walk away from but the extreme emotions just are not there.  We choose to love and allow that love into our life.  Regardless of the situation or the person in our life, we have a choice.  We either love them or we do not.

My childhood was huge to me because I was taught to love.  My parents loved me so much they drove me crazy once I decided I wanted to have my own way about something.  My parents had no choice in their minds, but to prove their love yet again, by saying no. No, no, no, and I forgot all of the yeses!  We must remember to teach our children to love.  If we do not, then they will not have a pattern to fall in love and teach their children to love. 

If we were just programmed to love then Christ would not have been so adamant about his teachings.  I call it the New Testament, AD, Commandment.  “Love one another as I have loved you.”  This does not mean give everyone everything they think they should have.  This does not mean provide more than you can afford to, to prove your love.  “Love Hurts”.  That was a song title and if you recall it also states, “Love mars and scars.”  My Dad was known for his little quip, “You’ll get over it.” When I hear myself or one of my siblings make this remark I smile because it is true.  If the love you lost or chose not to invest yourself in hurts then remember that you will get over it.  We only carry with us the true loves that we gave our all to and have lost by one means or another because we gave all and knew it even just short of dying for them.

When a woman makes the statement, “You did not carry that child so you do not understand my decision”.  She has the right to say this to you.  Women invest all of themselves into the health and caring of their child and when the child is born that does not change.  This child becomes a visible person outside of the womb that requires the Mother to continually invest in every phase of his/her life.  I hear my children tell one another, concerning my grandchildren, “I choose the battles.  I cannot dictate a life to them.”  That would make parents controlling and give no live to the young ones for exploration and choosing the right things for themselves.  They must fail from time to time or they may never learn the importance of being successful.  When children are dictated every move then any failure becomes gigantic in their minds.  On the other hand, when a parent knows what is best and the child is not adhering to the best causing harm, danger to others or to themselves, then a parent has a battle to enter in and not give in.  New idea, Mama Up!  Daddy Up, sometimes Grandma or Grandpa Up, Teacher Up, just the same as a Cowboy Up!  This takes a lot of love investing.  For some there may be a lot of self-learning before the Step Up.  Facts change a situation in a moment so we all have to continually learn and trust to see it happen.  It takes a village to raise a child, hmmm… love and learning must begin with the tree the little apples fell from, and the village contributes.

We were taught to love everyone but we were not held accountable for loving them, when people were abusive or mistrustful.  I decided from all I had been taught, that I could easily have loved the abuser or mistrustful person if they had been the person they were created to be.  I could have watched over, nurtured and invested my emotions and affection on them.  People do get lost and we have large and caring hearts for them but we cannot allow ourselves to be abused or mistreated.  The person can overcome their choices of inflicting pain on others.  That beginning is itself their first choice.

So, Love is Not a Natural Occurrence.  I choose to save the most precious ability I poses for those whom I treasure and daily invest my time, attention, and affection in.  The ability to love! When we love wholeheartedly with everything we have, we must remember to love ourselves.  If we cannot do this we have to remember that love is not a natural occurrence and today we invest in us.  I know first-hand how hard this is because I forgot to love myself for many years.  Be happy every day and have fun!

God's Hugs

Good morning all.  A day like today would be a good reason to change the reason we call home the Treasure Coast.  The weather is our treasure today and the ocean is bringing a soft, yet steady wind across the beaches.  It is so beautiful!  Today my blog time will be devoted to the most precious part of a parent’s heart; children. I cannot speak for all of you so I can only example my experiences.

The Viet Nam War (crisis) deprived my son and daughter of their father before they even had time to know him.  A sweet home-town Christian boy left us and returned a man that no one understood.  All of the wisdom in the world could never prepare families for these tumultuous times.  Well it wasn’t long before he chose his own path to walk and it did not include his family, so life began again the way it first began; just the three of us.  Some of you can relate to this and sadly, too many of you.  We were scrutinized, criticized and passed over by an older generation who simply wanted everything to remain the same.  How could it?  There have been generations of single moms rearing their children alone, yet this time we were treated like we were diseased.  Yep.  A lot of forgiveness has come down the pike and a lot of that same, torture of being different came with it.

Now, let’s stop and think about this.  The children grew up without the best of both worlds and found their way through life the same way we did, but in a different age of technology.  Are you still with me?  Many parents of the sixties and seventies have managed to retain the devout Christian beliefs without interference in a world created for them.  Today parents and their children are being forced to deal with the world our ancestors left behind. 

I think about this a lot because our ancestors, the puritans, were building a world free of all of the things that were causing chaos in other parts of the world.  As time rolled along the sixties generation ushered in the unbelievable world of technology, the one that seemed to take this country by surprise.  Not our governments or military, but to us it was wowing.  I remember when we had to decide to go back to school and learn this new operation of offices or get left behind...  Since then this generation has played the extreme highway game of keeping up with the technical industry.  I remember selling a rather gaudy diamond bracelet to purchase a single strand of pearls and two computers!  How small the world suddenly became and war was on television twenty-four hours per day in vivid color.

Let me not go too far off my course and forget the crux of this visitation.  The parents now have young pre-teens, teens, and young adults to keep up with.  The basic rules of life are changing and that is my great concern with our present generation.  How do parents keep the basics yet live with all of the changes?  Grandparents help, church helps some, extended families reach out more often, the neighborhoods they live in pay closer attention and perhaps the most important is continual encouragement within those basic boundaries.  Choices do create consequences. They always have and always will.  Choose wisely is far more, than just a bumper sticker.  When our ability to grow older and understand the present generation, occurs, if it ever occurs for some of us, then we will relax.  We can throw away the stress pills, laugh louder, smile more often, and enjoy the wonderful people in our lives.  Judgement of others is not a new concept!  From the puritans to the pulpits of today, judgements seem to be steady and continuing. 

Please let us not confuse judgements of living in our world with judgements of faith.  We judge the distance we in a car travel at a particular speed and give the person in the car in front of us plenty of room to make judgements also.  Our faith, the Christian faith that is, will always suffer scrutiny yet we have to remain stable in our faith and not judge others for their disagreement.  Now we come to the purpose of this visit today.

We are not the Holy Spirit and we are not capable of controlling other people or circumstances that are not ours to have.  We can push open every door that we think will work for us but until God’s perfection is applied in the pressure of the push it will not come to fruition. 

Now, I take a deep breath, have a sip of coffee, and relax.  God is in control.  Wow!!!! I keep losing sight of that fact.  My children and grandchildren are my greatest reminders.  When those days of Viet Nam separated our family, I gave up.  I gave my children and everything I had to God.  I told him that I could not fix it, deal with it or even imagine in my mind a way to work all of our problems out.  He took them and gave me a hug.  Well you may find this amusing but it is not when the night is long and you have no idea what is going on with a child or grandchild, so you cannot sleep for mentally trying to fix it.  That is right.  As Christians and as parents we think we can fix it!!!!  All of it!!!  That is when a trip to the carpet with open arms, and face down, I allow God to remind me that he has not given me control and he never will.  That is freedom to know that he is in charge.  I can relax and sleep and work and dream and be happy.  How about you?  Do you need a hug? Sit up from lying on the carpet and wrap your arms around yourself while God’s spirit encloses you in his arms.  That my friend; is a God hug.

Now let’s ask God and our children and grandchildren to forgive us for thinking we had control of God’s decisions.  We can be there and we can love with all of our hearts but we cannot make all of those decisions.  We have to keep trusting them to back away if the door is not opening with God’s force of perfection, and embrace the beautifulness of watching God take us to joyous reunions that we could never provide ourselves; on the carpet.

My friend sent me an email message about Mom’s.  Thank you.  We are truly blessed.  Will life be easy?  No.  Will decisions be difficult? Yes.  Are we in it alone? Never!  Are our children alone? Never!  We can change the consequences of our present actions by choosing well.  We can practice patience, and still hold onto the basics while we live in a world of continual change.

My motto:

·         Remember where you came from.  God created you.

·         Remember who you are.  God’s child with all of his benefits, and never ending hugs.

·         Remember where you are going.  Back to God!

Now everything else is the stuff that life gives us and we give to life.  Always remember to get your God hug!  Don’t have to always ask a friend, since God is the perfect parent.